Well ... It's Been a While, And For That I Do Apologize!

But I Was Healthy!

So, I was 52 years young and an expert skier, but it didn't keep me from being blindsided by a 200-pound snowboarder ... at least that's what must have hit me. And the person did not even stop! Not to make light of a sensitive subject, but you can catch the rest of my story—and that of twenty other survivors, spouses & caregivers—in my book, Different Strokes!

What I Learned: Do you have a couple of hours?

Most stroke survivors work everyday to get better--and it's an uphill battle, as we all know. We may make incredible strides one day and then falter the next, and then pick ourselves up to do it all again. But here's the twist and the beauty: whether we realize it or not, the extraordinary effort we put forth to recover will pay off "in spades" for many years to come. Let me explain ...

If you can recover or even improve, be it from paralysis, cognitive damage, the inability to walk or tie your shoe, then you will have accomplished something monumental! And you should be incredibly proud, so pat yourself on the back and take a bow. You have reinvented yourself, again!

Now, take this incredible effort and apply it to every challenge you face, be it personal or professional: break down every step and apply the same steely focus and expectation to every undertaking, no matter the size or importance! If you can come back from stroke, then you can do almost anything! And don't be surprised if you surpass your pre-stroke accomplishments in some ways. I did.


Moving Forward: Philosophically

It can take years to recover ... and maybe even a lifetime. We will have to put forth extraordinary effort to do the simplest, most basic things. And, as most of us have to realize, we will have to compromise and adjust our expectations more than once. And, what once seemed so important and meaningful before has little or no relevance now. Life is elastic, just like our re-forming brain.

Eight years later, after relearning the fundamentals of, well, everything ... I ski and play tennis better than I ever did before; I can drive and ride my bike (not in the street); I am more patient and empathetic with people; I never stress the small stuff; and I am not as hard on myself or others as I used to be.

Keeping Positive

I believe that if we are strong and willful before our stroke, we will be strong and willful in recovery. It's all about the attitude. If we can maintain a sense of humor--even after a year of trying to tie our shoes--then we have a much better chance of long-term recovery. We must put it all out there, even if, at the time, we can't fully understand why.

A Quick Anecdote that Speaks a Thousand Words

I walk into the hospital gift shop to hand deliver my new book, Different Strokes, which I explain to the elderly volunteer. We chat about the book and she checks me out from behind the counter.

"I have a friend that had a stroke," she says, "and he's just starting to walk again, so he's doing pretty well!" I assume that most senior citizens have experienced stroke on some level and know something. I look at her, believing she must see the error in her words ... but she does not. I don't fault her at all, as she's never had a stroke. I lean over the counter and earnestly share my practiced response to such an inaccurate and naive statement. I want her to understand how debilitating and depressing stroke can be--and how looks can deceive.

"You know," I say, "a stroke survivor can stand before you on their own two feet, speak, and appear 'normal,' and still be incapable of holding a job, remembering a phone number or finding their home from five blocks away!" She paused and then smiled apologetically. "Thank you for sharing, I had no idea. You look so healthy and alive ..."

Believe it ... or Not

I would not give back my stroke, even if I could; even with my continued deficits and fading memory. Why? Because of the things I've learned, the people I've met and the way I now look at the world!

Steve Boorstein * Different Strokes * http://www.survivingstroke.com